When a preschooler is biting it may be his need to get attention, exert control over the situation, as a form of self defence or a way of expressing anger or frustration. When biting is common this is an indication of a behaviour problem. Frequent biting after a child for preschoolers, may indicate such behaviour problems, because by that time many children have the communication skills necessary to express what they need. Here are some strategies to deal with biting behaviours.

Respond immediately – get down to their level and model a feeling of hurt so the child knows that biting hurts. “Ouch, that hurts, we don’t bite our friends”.

Don’t Bite Back – biting back only shows the child in a violent way to respond to being hurt. We need to teach them appropriate responses that can be used in many situations.

Observe Context – When biting occurs repeatedly look at when it happens to deduce why. Look for a pattern, does it happen in crowds, is it when they are excited or mad, is there a lack of toys or too many toys, or perhaps they need some attention or supervision.

Teach Communication Skills – Use words to express their feelings. Consistently promote the child's use of language is helpful to reduce biting behaviours as well as other behaviours. For example, teach words and phrases like, "stop," "mine," "We don't bite our friends, we bite food" or "biting hurts”, when children are in situation that may cause them to want to bite they will have the words to express themselves.

Use Positive Language - Say "touch gently" rather than "don't bite". You can help children talk about feelings by putting them into words, like “you look mad, tell your friend you don’t like it when she takes your toy”. Rather than saying, “don’t be mean”, try, “he is angry because you took his toy”.

It may take some time to stop the behaviour so be consistent and firm so the child knows this is not acceptable behaviour but there are other ways to express your self.

If you have any other parenting questions, please feel free to email me and I may add them to my next blog entry.